


Something Wicked

by alyssa146



Series: Wicked this way comes [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bottom Sam Winchester, Dark Dean Winchester, Dean is evil, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, First Time, Hurt Sam Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mary is a good mom, Maybe more - Freeform, Possessive Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Rough Sex, Sam is a Saint, Serial Killer family, Shameless Smut, Top Dean Winchester, Wincest - Freeform, Young Sam Winchester, for now, maybe still, no supernatural, will see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-04-18 10:20:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 22,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14211042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssa146/pseuds/alyssa146
Summary: When Sam is four his mom takes him away.  When Sam is 16 Dean finds him and changes his life forever.





	1. Running away

When Sam is two his dad turns violent. Sam might be young but he can remember a time when his dad was loving and sweet, he would wrap his mom up in his arms and press tiny kisses to her face just to hear her laugh. It was like it happened overnight. One night John was tucking Sam into his crib with a warm smile and a kiss on his chubby cheeks and the next day he was walking around with a dark look on his face daring anyone to speak to him.

When Sam is three Dean turns the same way. Dean had always been tentative around Sam, always wanting him in his arms, always volunteering to do things for him and that doesn't change. But he watches as Deans green eyes darken almost like a storm. He ignores their mother and only listens to their dad. He kills animals and pulls them apart in the backyard for the neighbors to see and smears the blood on Sam's face and smiles at him like Sam’s a sacrifice. He tells Sam their meant to be and one dad he’ll see and everything will be OK. 

When Sam is four his mother takes him away.

He thinks she makes this decisions one night when John gets paticulary rough with her. Before he had never hit her only made empty threats, screamed in her face till he turned red but never hit her. They had been arguing about Dean. He was to possessive with Sam and she was worried about it. He always had to be touching Sam, always had to take care of him and wouldn't let her touch him.

John told her she was being stupid, that it wad a big brothers job to watch after their sibling. She told him it wasn't right, that it was sinful and it was his fault and he hit her.

She didn't cry, she didn't yell she just look back at him with a split lip, anger in her arms before she swept Sam up out of Dean’s arms and marched to their room and locked the door.

That night she pulled Sam out of the bed, away from Dean and packed their things and snuck out.

She gets in the car and rives and drives till they land in the biggest city she could think of. Austin, TX.

She finds an apartment downtown and enrolls Sam in preschool under the name Sam Campbell. She cant stand the idea of either one of them being a Winchester anymore.

She regrets leaving her oldest behind but then she remembers the heated look he gave Sam, how he touched Sam, how he acted around Sam and she thinks she made the right choice. She had to protect her little boy.

Dean was to much like John now. Even for a eight year old she knows there's no changing him now, he isn't her sweet little boy anymore he’s stone cold.

She looks over her shoulder for the next three years but when Sam turns seven she lets out a sigh of relief and concludes that John had not in fact found her, and maybe isn't even looking for her.

When Sam is five he finally stops asking for Dean. He spent a full year babbling and crying wanting to know where his Dee had gone of to and she couldn't bare to tell him the truth so she told him there was no Dean.

When he turns seven she thinks his finally forgotten all about their past life.

Its been 12 years since she left John and Dean behind and now Sam is 16 and beautiful. Beautiful is the only word she can use to describe her son. She isn't sure who he looks like, more like her mother than anything. His eyes are slanted and they change colors so often he could be considered a changeling. His hair is long and dark falls in his eyes all the time hiding him away whenever he feels like it. And his cheeks are sharp and full of sweet dimples. He has the most delightful laugh shes ever heard and the best personality and she cant imagine how he came from John. Sam is the best thing in her life. He’s full of life, vibrant, smart, gorgeous, outgoing and kind.

Mary remarried when Sam was 13 to a man named Mick Davies. He’s different from John. His sharp, put together and most of all gentle. He loves Sam like his own son and treats him as such.

They move into a house near South Congress Ave and its unlike anything she ever dreamed about. Its a white 2 story modern contemporary home with big bay windows and 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. 

She thinks their life is finally perfect. She doesn't have to worry about struggling anymore, she can quit her job at the diner, she doesn't have to worry about her ex husband following her.

Or she didn't think she had to.

 

Sam is only a junior in high school but he’s smart. So smart the principal has offered to let him graduate early, more than once. But he has declined every time. His made friends, lifelong friends and he couldn't imagine leaving them behind and they had plans. 

He met Kevin, Jo, and Adam when he was in the 6th grade. Middle school was hard for him. He had been chubby and baby faced (still was) and prone to bullies. Till one day as he hovered against a locker Jo Harvelle stepped out of nowhere and punched the big kid right in the face. She smiled at Sam and introduced him to her friends and that was it,

High school was better. Sam was tall and skinny, more like gangly and twink like according to Adam. He was smart, A honor-roll and ivy league bound material. He was well liked by his class mates and knew every ones name. And an all around well rounded student. He was apart of the Latin club which he found interesting but his mom hated, she’d cringe whenever he spoke the language. He was apart of the Student Government, Student body President in fact. He was captain of the soccer team, ran for track and field, tutored struggling kids, and helped out with the soup kitchen.

His mother called him a saint. His friends called him a suck up. 

He wasn't really he wanted to help out, he wanted to do good, he felt the need to please his parents, he wasn't sure why.

It was spring time, newly April and that meant soccer practice.

He joined the team his freshman year and had been voted captain ever since then. Sam had been counting on a soccer scholarship to Brown ever since he was 14. 

He leaned against the gym lockers and watched as Adam pulled on his cleats and jumped a couple times before shooting Sam and wide smile.

Sam snorted and turned and started walking down the hall with Adam behind him “your suck a dork.”

Adam knocked his shoulder and made a noise “better watch it Cap what would you do without your goalie saving your ass?”

Sam said nothing as they made it onto the field and stepped in the circle of boys and started stretching. Sam watched as Coach Watson stepped in the middle looking down at his clipboard before sighing “ok boys you know the drill 1 mile around the field and then meet back here for warm ups.”

2 hours later Sam was walking to his car with sore knees and aching feet. First day of practice and Coach certainly hadn't let up.

“I swear man i think I’m falling apart.”

Sam let out a small laugh and threw his bag into the back of his Land Rover Defender Mick bought him for his 16th birthday. God he could still remember that morning. Mick had strolled into his room at 7 a.m on a Saturday whistling a bright tune as he flopped on Sam’s bed making him groan “dad,” he whined as he tried to roll over but Mick just laughed.

He leaned down and blew at Sam’s hair “i don't know about you kiddo but there's a strange car in the driveway...it had a big red bow on it... What do you think we should do about it?”

Sam’s eyes had shot open and he looked at his dad with uncertain eyes. Mick wiggled his brows and dangled keys in front of him and Sam shot up like a rocket, gasps and thank yous falling from his lips before he snatched them and raced downstairs past his mom who was flipping pancakes at the stove.

He chuckled at the memory and climbed in his car “ok man I’ll see you tomorrow... Oh remember tomorrows--”

“Soup kitchen day... Yeah man i got it, help the homeless and all.”

Sam smiled and shut his door and watched as Adam drove off before following behind him, Post Malone blasting from his stereo.

Sam smiled as he pulled in the driveway and noticed his dads Cadillac in the drive, it wasn’t often his dad beat him home.

He got out and lifted his gym bag and started inside, dropping his bag at the door “hello?”

“In here sport!”

Sam dropped his keys and walked to the living room where his mom and dad were sitting, Mick still in his suit from work.

Mary smiled “hey honey how was school?”

Sam groaned and fell into the lounge chair “fine practice on the other hand...I’m gonna need an ice bath.”

“Well you’ll have to take one later kid were going out to eat so go get changed.”

Sam lifted his tired body off the chair and drudged up the stairs and ripped his clothes off tiredly and splashed his face with water before pulling on jeans and a hoodie, ruffling his hair around and slipping on his converses.

They ended up at Perry’s Steakhouse and Sam’s mouth watered as soon as they walked inside the place. His dad ordered the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu and got Sam a coke and a smoothie, sending a wink his way.

“Only cause you deserve it kid.”

Sam smiled and sipped his mango smoothie slowly as the waiter came back over to take their order, his eyes falling heavy on Sam.

Sam was openly gay, had been since he was 14 and had no problem with guys checking him out every now and then. But guys that looked at him like he was a piece of meat? That he had to object to.

The man was probably around 30 and had black hair and dark eyes, he was nice looking in a rugged sort of way but his eyes held nothing nice in them.

Sam cleared his throat and looked down and when it came his turn to speak he barley wanted to “prime rib please, medium with broccoli and a caesar salad.”

The man smirked as he scribbled his order down, his eyes looking Sam up and down making Mick frown in distaste, his British accent thickening as he spoke up “if i were you i would be concerned with doing my job then eyeing up my boy... Or should we speak to your manager in case you have a staring problem?”

The man shot his eyes over at his father and scowled “I’m not doing any harm, there's no crime in enjoying something is there?”

Sam sunk in his seat as his dads brown eyes darkened, Mary reaching up for him as he stood “I would like to speak to your manager sir, he’s a friend of mine.”

The man opened his mouth to retort when suddenly a strong hand clapped down on his shoulder. Sam looked up expecting the manager named David to be behind him but found otherwise.

Sam’s breath caught as he took in the man in front of him. He was tall, is hair short, dirty blonde and spiked. His skin was pale and covered in freckles, his lips were pink and plush and his eyes were wide and a clear green. Sam had never seen anyone who looked like this handsome, rugged, and gorgeous all crafted into one man. 

He had on a black shirt, leather jacket and dark jeans. Sam could spot the faintest sight of a tattoo peaking under his shirt collar, his face was covered with faint stubble and Sam gulped at the sight.

“Are you bothering these people,” the man looked down at the name tag and sneered “Shane?”

The man, Shane made a face and the stranger and jerked “who the hell are you? Let me go--”

The strangers hand tightened and Shane whimpered as his shoulder crushed under the grip. The freckled man leaned in and whispered something in his ear before he took off and he looked down at Sam with dark eyes “you ok?”

Sam gulped and nodded slowly, his speech now gone and a rush of heat swirling in his belly as the man smiled at him his hand reaching down to brush against his cheek faintly before pulling back “good.” he turned to his family and nodded his head before disappearing.

Sam turned in his seat and looked around the restaurant as David came up asking what just happened, that he had Shane in the back talking about a crazy person.  
As his father filled him in on the details Sam spotted him.

He was leaning against the glass outside, his eyes on Sam and a cigarette dangling from his lips, smoke blowing from his mouth.

Sam watched, mesmerized as the man smirked at him and sent him a wink before dropping his cigarette and backing up into the night.[1]


	2. Hello Again

Sam saw the man again 3 days later. 

It was Saturday night and his friends wanted to go out. Jo had gotten them all fake ID’s a week before, no matter how Sam had protested, and told him to be ready that night by 10 because they were going out.

Sam didn’t want to go. He hasn't the type to party, never enjoyed it but he was 16, it was his junior year and he deserved it.

So he dressed in dark jeans and a tight shirt and ruffled his hair just right smiling as it fell in his eyes and jumped downstairs as his phone dinged the signal.

Jo smiled from the drivers seat and waved him in the front as Kevin and Adam sat in the back “so where we going?”

Jo smirked secretly “this place called Ethics you’ll love it. Its got a rooftop lounge and best of all the bouncers barley look at the ID’s were gold.”

Sam gulped nervously and stared as they pulled up to the place. It had to be 3 stories, the building was lit up and popping as they stepped out the music hurting his ears.

The bouncer was a big man who barley glanced down at his fake and Jo giggled as she dragged him inside and up to the bar and ordered them Vespers.

Jo handed him the martini glass and watched as Sam sipped it then coughed, his eye twitching as he looked at the glass “whats in this?”

She laughed “ vodka, gin and blanc...its good right?”

Sam shivered and looked down at the drink, tempted to sit it down but Jo made a face and tipped it up making him chug it down.

He gasped as he sat the glass down and choked as Jo ordered him another drink, this time a B-52 shot making him down it one gulp and laughed as he sputtered “Are you trying to kill me?”

“No!” she yelled over the music “I’m trying to get you drunk! You deserve it Sam! You never let loose its time to have fun,” with the she pulled him out to the dance floor and started moving to the music.

Sam looked around at all the couples and teenagers and wondered where Adam and Kevin were.

He danced for a bit before his skin clammed up and his head grew dizzy. He pushed away from his friends and somehow made it to the roof and gulped in fresh air. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes as the cool breeze floated around him, the chattering of the people around his fading.

“You.”

He jumped and whirled around at the low raspy voice, his hand on his heart as his chest heaved with quick breaths that slowed once he noticed the man in front of him.

Sam smiled “and you...what are you doing here?”

The man raised a damaged brow and Sam wondered how it got there, just one thin white slice through the blonde brow had him looking like he stepped right out of an action movie.

“It is a free country last time i checked and i should be asking you that...you don't seem like your 21 bein baby faced and all.”

Sam blushed and ducked his head “my friend got me in.”

The man smirked and looked him up and down with a glint in his eye “you know i don't think you properly thanked me for savin you the other night.”

Sam’s brows shot up and his eyes widened “saving? I didn't ask you to do anything my dad had it under-control--”

Sam paused as the mans eyes darkened dangerously and his fists clenched at the mention of his father and he stepped back “maybe i should...”

The man looked up as Sam stepped back and his eyes softened “sorry if i scared you...i just feel pretty protective of you is all...Sammy.”

Sam narrowed his eyes and looked the beautiful stranger up and down “how do you know my name?”

“The other night your...your dad said it.”

Sam thought back and tried to remember if that was true but he couldn't recall his father actually saying his name but then again maybe he did so he just shrugged “well your at an advantage seeing as how i don't know your name.”

The man smiled his teeth gleaming in the dim light and he stepped closer to Sam breathing in his air and making him shiver “its Dean.”

Sam frowned as something flurried inside him. Dean. The name sounded familiar yet he couldn't recall how he knew it or why he knew it but something was scratching at the surface inside him as he stared at Dean with searching eyes.

“Dean...” he tasted the name on his tongue and rolled it around in his mouth but he couldn't place it. “Sounds familiar I don't know why though I've never met anyone named Dean.”

Dean’s eye twitched as he winced and tucked his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat “well now you have. Shouldn't you be getting back to your friends?”

Sam blinked dumbly and nodded his head. Right his friends...he nodded again and backed away slowly “right well...see you around.”

Sam turned and started walking back towards the entrance to the crowded room where the music was already blaring. Would he see him again? It had to be the grace of God he even saw him tonight. Why did he even care? He didn't know this man so why did he care?

He wanted to turn around and say something else, anything else but he wasn't sure what it is he would say. So he folded his arms and walked slowly down the thundering steps till a rough hand reached out and gripped his arm, turning him around.

Dean looked at him with heated eyes, the green dark like a forest and Sam wanted to explore that forest.

“You in school?”

Sam nodded wordlessly making Dean smirk “ok then Monday how about i pick you up?”

 

Sam gasped, his jaw dropping before he shook his head and made a noise of disbelief “really?”

Dean pursed his lips and looked Sam up and down with predatory eyes and licked his bottom lip “or we could get out of here now? Blow this joint and find something... More entertaining to do with out time.”

Sam blushed and dropped his head, his hair falling in his eyes “I don’t-- I mean i told my friends that i would...where?”

Dean grinned the smile stretching across his face like a Cheshire cat “anywhere and everywhere Sammy.”

Sam looked down into the dark hallway and bit his lip and debated on his choices. He could leave his friends and go out with Dean and do God knows what. Or he could stay and have a horrible time waiting for his friends to leave.

He turned back to face Dean and smiled brightly “lets go.”

 

Sam should have told his friends he was leaving but he didn't, didn't think about it as he followed Dean out of the club and into the night. He had never met a man like Dean before. He was strong, honest, daring, and a total bad ass. Sam’s had boyfriends before of course he wasn’t a total loser but when it came to something serious? The guys were jerks. 

Sam was a hopeless romantic he knew that. Still a virgin waiting for his soul-mate, someone to spend his life with. His mom smiled at him and entertained his ideas but he knew what people thought. Sam Campbell-Davies little virgin with no experience and his head up his ass.

But as he followed Dean to a long, black car he didn't care. 

They ended up at Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center. Sam had been numerous times, his mother loved flowers and adored taking him through the gardens, describing each flower to him and what they mean.

Sam smiled as they walked silently past the section of lavish roses and under the brick walkway. “I used to come here all the time with my mom... She loves this place. You know roses are a symbol of love, desire. Red roses that is.” Sam stops and lets his hands gently trail along a white petal. “White however means purity and innocence.”

Dean watches as Sam smiles down at the flowers, his long dainty fingers floating along the petals and Dean suddenly has an overwhelming desire to take away Sam’s innocence. He knows its still there, knows his little brother no matter how long he has been away. 

He steps forward and presses himself to Sam’s front and leans down, his lips pressed to Sam’s ear and smirks at the shiver he gets “are you innocent Sam? Are you a white rose waiting to be plucked? To be taken?”

Sam’s breath quickens and he can feel his heart beating so fast against his chest he waits for a heart attack to arise. Dean’s lips are pressing against his ear, hot breaths puffing against his neck making him quiver with want.

He takes a deep breath and preys for courage as he looks up into the dark green eyes of a lust filled Dean “maybe I am.”  
That seems like the right answer because Dean smiles down at him, not a joy filled smile, not happy but knowing. Knowing and dangerous like he had been waiting for this exact moment, like he knew what Sam would say, that he couldn't resist, he wouldn't. Dangerous though like a snake waiting to strike, Sam could almost hear the rattle of his tail.

But as Dean leaned down and pressed those soft chapped lips against his, his tongue sliding along Sam’s own lips before diving in for the taking like he owned everything Sam had. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and arched his back into his touch and savored the calloused hands that ran under his shirt and ignored the possessive mine that slipped through Dean’s lips.

He couldn't find it in himself to care.

Danger be damned.[2]


	3. please read

Hey guys, So it might be slow posing for the next couple days. Today my best friend and my cousin past away in a car crash and I need time to deal with it and heal the best I can. I hope y'all can respect this and hopefully I will pick back up next week.   
Thank you and I love you.


	4. I Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for their support this past week, it hasn't been easy. For those of you who don't know I lost my cousin and one of my best friends last week in a car crash. I haven't really known what to do with myself this week and I've been in a deep state of depression. But on Wednesday we buried my friend and held a memorial service at our high school where he played baseball and I realized I couldn't stop my life, that I had to keep moving. So thank you all for the words of encouragement it gave me the strength to keep writing.

The next day he rolled out of bed around noon and crept downstairs to see his parents sitting at the table, his dad working on some papers and his mom sipping her tea looking at the stairs knowingly.

Sam grinned sheepishly and pushed his messy hair back as he sat down beside her “morning...”

“I think you mean afternoon,” his dad teased as he looked up from his paperwork with a playful smile before back down. “Someone must of had quite the night.”

“Oh yes rolling in at 3 a.m. would make anyone tired don't you think?”

Mick nodded in agreement with his wife and raised a brow as he looked at Sam “must have been a good night huh?”

Sam blushed and got up to grab a bottle of water and some leftover french toast from this morning “it was fun...”

“I can’t imagine Kevin staying up past midnight... Or you for that matter your usually in bed by 11.”

“Well I... I was with them but then I went somewhere else.”

His mom leaned forward “and where is that?”

“To the Lady Bird center...”

“Sam.”

“Yes?”

“They were closed.”

Sam bit his lip and groaned “I know...”

Mick smirked “who was the dude?”

“Dad!” Sam flushed bright red and covered his cheeks as they grew hot making his dad laugh.

“Oh come on Samuel were your parents if you weren't with your friends you were with someone its not like you to go off alone.”

“It was the guy from the other night.”

“The man from the restaurant?”

He nodded silently and his mom cocked her head “he looked familiar like I've seen him somewhere but i cant place it.”

“Yeah i thought that to when i heard his name.”

“What is it?”

“Dean.”

Mary froze, her eyes widening and her breath quickening as he gulped and looked up with fearful eyes “Dean?”

Sam nodded “yeah... He wants to see me again. I think i really like him.”

Mick smiled and stood up, pressing a kiss to his head “I’m happy for you son... Well family i will see you tonight got an emergency meeting to attend to. Sam make sure your here tonight ok? Were having guests for dinner.”

Sam saluted to his dad in agreement and stood up “i think I’m going to get caught up on some homework, see you later mom.”

Mary watched as Sam jogged up the stairs before jumping up and rushing to her phone and scrolling threw her contacts before landing on a number she had tried deleting over a hundred times and dialed.

“Hello?”

Mary gulped at the deep low voice “John.”  
The line paused before a dark chuckled made its way through making her shiver “Mary what do i owe the pleasure .”

“I think you know why I’m calling John... What the hell is he doing here?”

“It’s a free country Mary my son can come and go as he pleases.”

Mary looked to the stairs and lowered her voice as she walked outside “not when he’s messing with my boy he can’t I know what he’s up to John and I won--”

“Slow your roll Mary last time I checked Sam was my son to even if you have moved on and brain washed him. Sam is my kid and Dean is his brother--”

Mary snorted “brother my ass he took Sam out last night, he followed him while he was out and put the moves on him what brother does that?”

John cleared his throat “you know how close they were Mary it’s not surprising Dean developed some feelings.”

Mary shook her head in disbelief and let out a laugh “feelings...its a sin John! That’s his little brother and I wont stand for it. I wont let him see Dean again so you might as well tell him to come home its over. I’ll tell Mick and then--”

Suddenly John growled low and it made Mary jumped “now you listen to me those are my boys and if Dean wants to fuck his little brother well that's up to him. Don’t you threaten me Mary you wont like the results.”

Mary didn't reply as she ended the call and covered her mouth when vomit threatened to come up.

No she wouldn't let it happen. She wouldn't let him touch her little boy. No matter what she had to do.

 

The next Monday as Sam bounded out of school, practice cancelled and ready to head to the soup kitchen he paused as he spotted the sleek black impala sitting in the parking lot, Dean leaning against it. His arms folded, muscles bulging, and his legs crossed at the ankles, black sunglasses sitting on his freckled nose.

Sam blushed as a eager smile lit up his face, he ignored his friends calls as he walked past his car and over to Dean who curled his lips up in a smirk as Sam stood in front of him “i thought I would pick you today...maybe we could grab some lunch?”

Sam bit his lip and looked over his shoulder at his friends who were staring at him confused. For a second he felt guilty. He should be going to the soup kitchen, he should be helping people that couldn't afford food or shelter but instead he turned back around with a bright grin and nodded his head quickly “yeah ok.”

Dean pushed off his car and opened the door and helped Sam inside before he turned around and looked at the stunned faces of Sam’s friends and allowed a cocky grin to light up his face.

He slowly walked around the car, gave them another look and dove inside, his hand coming to rest on Sam’s thigh without permission and sped off.[3]


	5. Meet The Parents

A week passed.

A week of Sam throwing himself around Dean. A week of surprise visits, a week of bailing on his friends, a week of sweet kisses and a week of whirlwind run ins.

Everyday Dean showed up at Sam’s school at 2:50 on the dot even if he had soccer practice. Practice that Sam had been missing lately. He hadn’t been to the soup kitchen and his friends weren't happy about that after all Sam is the one who got it started.

But he couldn't help it. He didn't want to say he was in love, it was much to soon for that but there was something about Dean. He was magnetic, he was charming, he was...electric. It felt like he had known Dean all his life, like he had always been there. He would pull up late at night and Sam would jump out his window, they would drive to the park or some late night diner and sit there and talk and Dean would give him this look. A look filled with heat, danger, and possession and it would make Sam shiver.

All his other relationships were meaningless. Little kissing, bad dates and cheesy lines were passed at him but with Dean it was different. Passionate, dangerous everything he could ever imagine. 

He could tell his mom didn't approve and he wasn't sure why. He hadn't met him, only seen him when he came to his rescue and that alone should be enough for her. His father was anxious to officially meet him and had even invited him for dinner.

So when he showed up Saturday night with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other Mary was floored.

Mick had been in the kitchen cooking, not telling his wife he had invited Sam’s... Boyfriend over for dinner.

So when she opened the door that night her eyes widened and her mouth dropped in shock at the sight.

There was no mistake this was her son.

His hair was shorter, blonder. His skin was pale, like hers and littered with freckles. And his eyes were a bright green and filled with amusement as she stared at him.

“Nice to meet you Mary... I’m Dean your sons boyfriend.”

Her body twitched at the smooth raspiness of Dean’s voice and she opened her mouth to say something. Get off my property, I’m calling your dad, you cant see my son-- something when Sam bounced around the corner.

He grinned brightly, his dimples popping out full force and the cockiness in Dean’s eyes melted to tenderness.

Sam skipped forward and threw himself in Dean’s waiting arms and Mary started forward “Sam I don’t--”

She trailed off instantly as Dean’s eyes snapped up to meet hers. The green now cold, no longer vibrant as they bore into her soul making her want to crawl in a hole and never come out. 

She ducked her head and shuffled into the kitchen where Mick was pulling the salmon out of the oven. He grinned when he saw her and waved the citrus covered fish in her face “smells good right? Think Sam will be pleased.”

It was moments like these she was glad she left John behind. She couldn't imagine John being this supportive of Sam;s first real boyfriend, but then again if he was this supportive of two brothers being together who knows.

“Honey I don't think this is a good idea.”

Mick frowned as he sat the plates down “and why not? Sam’s happy therefore I am, and so should you.”

“I don't think Dean is right for him. Sam’s different...he’s skipping out on community service, he’s ditching his friends its not like him.”

Mick shook his head and looked at Mary with firmness in his eyes “listen Mary your his mother, his biological mother therefore you hold more power than me. But Sam is my son, in my heart i believe that and i want him to be happy, he deserves this. So no matter how you feel you will not go in there and ruin this for him because if you do i want a divorce.”

Mick walked past an appalled Mary and into the dining room where Sam was leaning against the wall, with a goofy smile on his face as he looked up at Dean who was towering over him, his hands brushing Sam’s hair back.

“Ok kids, dinners served.”

Throughout dinner Mary said nothing. Not one word was spoken to Dean but he didn't seem to mind as he chatted up Mick and Sam. He even sprouted out lies that Mary knew wasn't true.

Are you in college Dean?

Oh he went to community college back in Kansas.

Do you have a job?

I’m a freelance contractor, wherever life takes me is where i go.

And what interest do you have in my Sam?

Mary had paused on that one.

She watched as Dean’s eye twitched and knew he was holding in the same rage he got from his father. Instead he cleared his throat, and straightened up as he put his arm around Sam and pulled him in “I don’t think it was coincidence that i met Sam when i did. I believe that everything happens for a reason, whether we want it to or not. I feel like I've known Sam my whole life and i don't intend to let him get away.”

Mary gulped as Dean’s grip tightened on Sam’s shoulder, but he didn't seem to notice as he blushed and buried his face in Dean’s neck as those cold green eyes locked on Mary.

She knew no matter what she did, no matter what she said she wouldn't like how this would end.[4]


	6. Closer

Mary watched as Sam smiled bashfully at the dinner table, his phone lighting up in front of him, his face giddy as he shot text after text back.

Mary peeked over at Mick who was cutting his steak and shaking his head in amusement at Sam’s antics. But she didn't see anything funny or endearing about the situation. Her son was enraptured with a killer, a psycho maniac even if he had once been her son.

She couldn't see Dean like that now. He was different, he wasn't her little boy, he was Johns killing machine.

But not Sam.

Sam could be saved. Sam wasn't like Dean and John he was good she could feel it. But if he stayed with Dean it was only a matter of time before his big brother corrupted him.

“Put that away Sam.”

Sam looked up with a frown “what?”

“Your phone put your phone up at the dinner table. You know the rule.”

Sam snorted and shook his head “that's not a rule--”

“It is now.”

Sam looked over at Mick who was also staring at Mary, a look of disbelief on his face. Sam looked back at his mom “whats your problem?”

She blinked at her sons attitude “i think the better question is whats your problem? You know you cant talk to me like that young man.”

Sam scoffed and stood up “I'm happy mom and i would think you would be happy for me. I don't know what your problem with Dean is but you better get over it because he isn't going anywhere.”

 

Sam had called Dean to come pick him up, and without listening to his mothers complaints he stomped out the door and straight into Dean’s car telling him to step on it.

He slouched in his seat and huffed “i just don't get it. Your wonderful i mean you stopped some pervert from coming on to me what more does she want?”

Dean looked over and pursed his lips “maybe shes just that type.”

“What type?”

“The type of mom who doesn't want her son to be happy.”

Sam frowned “but shes not like that. I mean shes always been supportive, she was fine with my other boyfriends although they weren't anything to really worry about.”

“Maybe that's it. I'm serious about you Sammy and she doesn't like it, she doesn't want to share. She thinks I'm bad for you.”

She moved closer across the leather seat and brought his hand up to trail down Dean’s scruffy cheek “you are bad for me.”

Dean smiled “hey how about we go somewhere?”

Going somewhere meant Dean’s apartment. 

It was small, a studio. There was a bed with a black duvet thrown across it, a lumpy red couch and a small TV. In the kitchen there was a stove, a small fridge and a microwave.

Sam looked around with a slight frown before turning to Dean with a smile “its great.”  
Dean snorted and rolled his eyes as he plopped down on the couch and patted the spot next to him “it sucks but its temporary.”

Sam froze as he leaned back against Dean and gulped harshly, his spit getting caught in his throat and making him choke at the thought of Dean leaving him. 

“Temporary? Your planning on leaving?”

Dean looked down at him and brushed his hair back “eventfully...but not without you.”

Sam smiled as Dean leaned down and pressed their lips together and moaned as he was lowered slowly down to the couch, Dean crawling on top of him his calloused hands smoothing down his thighs.

Sam's mouth fell open in a gasp and his back arched as plush lips trailed wetly down his neck and rough hands slid up his shirt before jerking it off and throwing it across the room and he followed.

Sam bit his lip shyly, his hands coming up to frame Dean’s face he could feel his heartbeat speed up and his skin grew sweaty making his hair stick to his cheeks. Dean pressed their foreheads together, his eyes dark and filled with lust as he looked down at Sam “you want to?”

Did he?

He had been a virgin for 16 years to give it up now would be like he failed at something. But then again he had told himself if he found someone he loved, truly loved and they loved him back it would be ok.

But they hadn't even said i love you yet so was this to much? Should he wait for that moment? Should he say it now or wait for Dean to? Did Dean even love him?

“Sam.”

Sam looked up with wide eyes, snapping out of his inner turmoil as Dean looked at with him an understanding smile but something like, hunger swirled in his eyes “its ok if you don't want to. I love you Sammy and I'm willing to wait.”

Well there it was.

“No I-- I love you to and...and i want you.”

It seemed like that was all he needed to hear. Dean pushed himself up and ripped their clothes off making Sam jumped at the roughness and wondered what had happened in 3 minutes.

Sam pushed himself up and looked behind him at the empty bed in the corner and wished Dean would suggest them relocating. He could but as Dean came back with a condom and tube of lube he shut his mouth.

Dean smirked down at him, his pink lips curling back and canine like teeth sharp making Sam shiver. Dean pushed his thigh up and moved his fingers down the sensitive skin making Sam gasp and Dean paused.

“You ok?”

Sam nodded his head slowly and relaxed his body “I’m fine...go ahead.”

Dean nodded and without a second thought pushed two fingers into Sam’s closed up body making him wince and his body jolt at the pain that rushed through his lower half. He turned his head and bit his lip, Dean lowered himself down and pressed his lips to Sam’s ear and bit down on it making the pain in his lower body fade and rush to the top.

When Dean thought he was ready he rolled the condom on and moved his penis to Sam’s hole and Sam looked up at Dean unsure and nervous. He gripped Dean’s shoulders tight as he pushed inside and watched with an open mouth as Dean’s face twisted with bliss.

He couldn't understand how he could be in so much pain and yet Dean could only feel pleasure. But then Dean moved his hips and twisted them the right way and something lit up inside him and he almost jumped off the couch.

Dean smirked cockily down at him, he pushed his arms under Sam’s back and pulled him up and tightened his arms around his waist and started thrusting steadily.

Sam closed his eyes and arched his back, soft moans leaving him as Dean picked up a steady pace and whispered dirty words in his ear that made him both blush and squirm with pleasure.

“Dean pl--please!”

Dean gripped his cheeks and kept his head turned to face him “don't close your eyes Sammy i want you to keep em on me got it?”

He couldn't form a coherent sentence to let Dean know that he heard him, every-time he felt his eyes rolling back he had to snap them back open. Something white hot was swirling in his belly and he could feel himself pulsing close to the edge so he reached up and twined his fingers in Dean’s short hair and pulled tight making Dean hiss in excitement and he dug his blunt nails in Sam’s thigh and gripped him tight as he chased his orgasm.

A loud whimper left him as he came, spurting against Dean’s freckled belly his body collapsed lazily against the couch and Dean petted his hair and cooed in his ear as he came.

Instead of rolling off Dean fell on top of him and Sam grunted at the dead weight but said nothing as he wrapped his arms around Dean’s sweaty back and held tight, pressing tiny kisses to his clammy cheek.

“I love you Dean.”

A soft kiss was pressed to his chest as Dean pushed himself on his elbow and looked down at Sam with hazy eyes “i love you Sammy and I’m never letting you go.”


	7. Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems like I'm getting these chapters out pretty slow and I'm sorry about that I'm still trying to get back in the swing of things after the rough two weeks I've had. Slowly but surely I'm working on it!

“Sam! Sam wait!”

Sam paused and turned. He had been jogging out of school, eager to get out, find Dean and maybe make out a little. But as he was leaving he was flagged down by his friends and as he turned with a smile it fell at their faces.

“Whats up?”

Jo, ever the brave one, stepped forward with stern eyes and her hands on her dainty hips “we need to talk.”

Sam frowned and shot a look to Kevin and Adam who had their heads down “ok... About what?”

“You...you and Dean. Its gotten out of hand Sam, we don't trust this guy.”

Sam’s brows shot up and he let out a scoff “are you kidding me? You don't even know him how can you stand here and tell me my relationship is out of hand?”

Adam looked at Kevin and Jo before he cleared his throat “we just think your in over your head. Your with him all the time Sam we don't even see you anymore. Your skipping out on practice, your bailing on the volunteer work...your not yourself.”

Sam rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as he glared at his friends “so because i finally decided to have a life there's something wrong with me? You have no right to tell me how to live my life or who to spend it with i get enough of that from my mother. Your supposed to be my friends--”

“Your right we are but it seems your the one whose forgotten that.”

Sam snapped his eyes to Jo and narrowed them into thin slits “ how petty can you be? Do you know how psycho y'all sound right now? I'm not hanging out with you so your what? Jealous? Were not dating Jo i have other priorities... I'm in love ok? Sue me but i wont apologize for it.”

Sam shook his head with a sneer and backed up towards the door “you know what i don't need this thanks for having my back.” With that he whirled around on his heel and busted through the back doors and to the parking lot where a sleek black car was waiting.

 

Dean watched carefully from his rear-view mirror as a tall blonde passed down the street, his impala shielded by the night.

Sam had filled him in on this afternoons events when he came out of school. He swallowed down a growl and had to force himself not to run into the school guns blazing and rip every single one of his friends open and feed them their own intestines.

So instead he dropped Sam off with a kiss and a promise to call him later, went back to his apartment to gather up supplies and now it was rolling on 10 o’clock and he was waiting outside Jo Harvelle s house.

She was the one to go for. He could tell the first night he met Sam, the way he talked about her, that she was the leader of the pack. And she needed to be eliminated.

Every night around this time Jo went on a jog. Sam told him so.

He watched as she jogged past his car, not even noticing him, and ran down the empty street. He reached for the duffle bag next to him and pulled out a sharp knife and stuck it in his back pocket before following her.

She paused half way down the wood hidden trail to bend over a bench and take a gulp of water when Dean got her.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back to him tightly making her gasp in fear. He smirked and leaned down and pressed his mouth to her ear “you did this to yourself you know...i would never wanna hurt Sammy but you gave me no choice. Your causing trouble for me Jo and i just cant allow it.”

Her eyes widened and she bucked against him, the struggling only urging Dean on as he pulled the knife from his pocket and savored the way she paused her eyes following his movements.

“I would say I wish I didn't have to do this but...I really couldn't care less,” and with that he pulled his arm back and shoved the knife up to the hilt deep in Jo’s back and shivered with excitement as she cried out in pain.

He shoved her down and watched as she plopped lifelessly and wiped his knife on the back of her shirt and sent a hard kick to her ribs “should have stayed out of my way bitch.”

 

They found her the next morning.

8 on the dot. 

Ellen, Jo’s mom the woman Sam’s known what seems like forever, who could almost be a second mother to him, found her only daughter lying in a pool of her own blood.

She had been asleep when Jo had went out the night before, hadn't even known she was gone. But when she got up the next morning and couldn't find her she went out looking.

The cops came to school and questioned Sam and his friends.

He cried for an hour.

He told them about their fight, told them how long he’s known her, told them about her jogging habits.

He didn't know after their fight that would be the last time he saw her.

They told him she bled to death. They had no leads.

His mom picked him up early. She said nothing to him in the car and the silence let Sam ravel in his own misery as he looked out the window and wondered who the hell would hurt Jo and why.

When they got home he locked himself in his room and ignored his mothers concerned looks and instead called Dean who snuck through his window.

He laid in bed that night in the dark, wrapped up in Deans arms and cried.

His best friend, the only sister he ever really had was dead. She was dead and the last thing Sam said to her was full of hate. He had intended on not speaking to her for at least a week and then hoped she would make the first move. 

He bunched his hand up in Dean’s shirt and sobbed loudly. He could hear Dean humming in the background, could feel the butterfly kisses that was pressed to his temple but what he didn't notice was the tiny cut on Dean’s hand.

He missed the moon shaped indention, his vision to blurred to notice the small mark of red paint left from Jo’s finger nail polish.


	8. What Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its short I'm sorry but its something!

School was odd.

Everywhere you turned pictures of Jo littered the halls. Monuments, memorials, and tiny stuffed bears laid in the halls. 

Sam had missed two days of school and when he returned it was like a funeral. Ellen had showed up at Sam’s house the day after Jo’s body was found. Sam had been a wreck, his mom wasn't home and neither was his dad so instead Dean answered the door.

Ellen had seized him up real good before peeking over his shoulder and searching for Sam who appeared with a puffy face and raw eyes.

She pulled him in her arms and held him tight, told him she loved him and so did Jo. Her funeral would be Friday. Sam was dreading it. Ellen requested he sit with her and the family, he was practically family anyway.

Dean had glared at her the whole time she was there. His eyes narrowing in a coldness Sam didn't know they could hold.

And when she left he slammed the door and turned those eyes on Sam. He stared at him for a good 5 minutes before cracking his neck and taking Sam upstairs where he made love to him.

It was Friday.

Sam swallowed harshly as he stared at himself in the mirror. His mom had picked out his best dress clothes. Nice khaki pants and a button up shirt.

With a deep breath and one last look he met his parents downstairs and climbed in his dads big Cadillac and sat quietly in the back.

When they got to the funeral home he felt like throwing up.

His parents got out of the car but he felt like he couldn't move. 

So many people, to many people walked past him, tears in their eyes and sorrow in their hearts. There were people from school there, people who never even talked to Jo they were sobbing, over-dramatic and Sam wanted to punch them.

They didn't care about her, they didn't know her. 

They didn't know her favorite color or her favorite movie. They didn't know she had her first kiss at 10. They didn't know her dad died when she was 13. They didn't know she wanted to be a doctor. They didn't know her.

He pushed himself out of the car and took his mothers hand as they walked inside. It was beautiful, she would have loved it.

Or maybe she would have hated it.

Pink flower's hung on the pews, her casket was a solid white... It was open.

He gasped and started to step back but his mom held his waist tight and pushed him forward.

She didn't look like herself.

His hands shook and his bottom lip trembled as he leaned over to silk to peer inside. Her skin was pale and lifeless. Her hair was flat, the usual shine it held was gone. Her lips were almost white and glued shut. She was wearing her favorite pink button up dress with nude heels and he almost laughed. She hated heels.

Her hands were folded and holding a picture.

A picture of them.

They were 14 in that picture. They were standing in front of a roller-coaster, their arms wrapped tight around each-other and cheesy smiles on their faces. Sam could remember that day.

They had begged and begged for their parents to take them to the amusement park that day and finally they had given in.

He closed his eyes and let out a broken sob, his hand coming up to cover his mouth to stop anymore noises from escaping. 

He could feel arms around his shoulders and he peered through bleary eyes to see who it was.

It was Dean.

He let out little hiccups as he stared up at the man and wondered when he had gotten there.

He went willingly as he was led to sit down and threw himself in Deans arms, his hands gripping his shirt tight as he cried in his chest.

As the preacher started talking in the background he tried to slow his cries and instead shivered quietly as Dean held him, his soft words soothing him.

And as they were led outside and watched the casket lower itself in the ground Sam turned his head from the view and if he wasn't mistake he could swear he saw Dean smile.


	9. What's My Line?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all probably gonna hate me for this chapter :)

Things seemed to swing around after the funeral.

Dean was chippy, almost giddy like.

Dean was usually calm, almost stoic but a couple days after the funeral he seemed to be bouncing with energy. He smiled more, he was relaxed, no worries, no care in the world about anything that was happening around him.

He didn't care that Sam’s mom was getting more pissed off by the day that he kept showing up, ignored Sam’s reaming friends, telling him they weren't good enough for him.

All in all it seemed Dean was breathing more.

Like something had been bothering him before but now he couldn't care less.

The day after the funeral he snuck through Sam’s window bright and early and bounced on Sam’s sleeping form. Told him it was a beautiful day and they should spend it together. He took him to the park, to get ice cream and to see a movie.

But all good things must come to an end.

It had been 2 weeks since the funeral and Sam was slowly coming back to himself. He was walking out of school, Dean wasn't there yet so he leaned against the statue of the schools mascot and waited.

He looked down to check his phone when a dark shadow loomed over him.

Adam was looking down at him.

“Oh... Hey.”

They had been avoiding each-other. Sam had been walking around school by himself since the fight.

Adam cleared his throat “hey... How are you?”

Sam shrugged “doing better... You?”

Adam made a face and looked down “I'm ok... You need a ride?”

“No Dean should be here soon.”

Adam pursed his lips “listen Sam i know we haven't gotten along lately but tomorrow is the day to go to the soup kitchen so if you want--”

“What the fuck do you think your doing?”

Adam froze in fear as Dean stomped up with a frown on his face. Sam jolted at his harsh tone and lifted a hand to calm him “Dean he was just asking--”

Dean held up his calloused hand and Sam blinked in shock at the rough skin and watched as Dean glared daggers down at Adam “if I see you talking to my boy again I swear to God they’ll never find your body you here me? He’s mine you lost--”

“Dean!” Sam gripped his arm and jerked Dean back making him trail off and look down at Sam with ruthless eyes that had his blood running cold “he’s my friend Dean... Whats gotten into you?”

Dean sneered and didn't reply as he dragged him to the car and threw him inside.

But Sam wasn't finished.

They had driven in silence for a good 3 minutes when he turned with a scowl on his face “what the hell was that? Adam is my friend we haven't spoken in weeks so when he finally comes up to me you have to act like a total dick?”

“Sam.”

“I mean God you don't get to choose my friends Dean that's not how relationships work!”

“Sam I mean it--”

“Your my boyfriend not my father--”

A loud growl filled the car and the next thing Sam knew his cheek was stinging and his ears were ringing. His head whipped to the side so fast he hit his temple on the glass window making him cry out in pain.

He lifted his hand gingerly to his sweltering cheek and held his palm to hit. Winded gasps left his cracked lip as he stared out the window and watched the cars zoom by him, completely dis aware of what just took place.

Sam wasn't even sure what just happened.

“Sam--”

He didn't finish as Sam shook his head, he was thankful when they stopped in front of his house.

Without another word he lifted his bag and darted from the car. He could hear Dean behind him, his boots scuffing on the brick sidewalk and he tried to quicken his pace. He made it to the door the same time Dean did and he cowered against it, hiding his face.

Dean stood in front of him wearing a look of shame and guilt. He tried lifting his hand to touch Sam’s cheek but he jumped back, knocking himself into the door.

“Baby I am so sorry I don't know what came over me I didn't mean it--”

A dry sob escaped Sam’s lips as he held his face, the heat making his palm hot. He could feel it pulsing and knew it would bruise “don’t touch me...” he looked up with red watery eyes “leave me alone.”

He sent a hard shove to Dean’s chest knocking him away giving Sam enough time to scurry into the house and lock the door.

 

Despite his parents knocking and worried whispers he kept himself shut in his room and didn't come out. 

He hadn't moved from his bed. He ignored Dean’s calls and apologies. He just couldn't do it.

And he hadn't dared look at himself in the mirror.

He would have to make up a lie to tell his parents, it was doubtful his mom would believe him she already hated Dean.

And he should to shouldn't he?

He loved Dean, more than he had ever loved anyone. He had trusted him.

And he hit him.

Sam rolled over on his back and squeezed his eyes closed as tears rolled down his cheeks, staining his pillow.

His bottom lip shook as a choked sob escaped his spit covered lips. He shook his head and gently wiped his eyes before standing up and making his way to the bathroom, squinting at the bright light. 

As he dared to look at his reflection he felt sick. 

His cheek was a nasty mixture of purple and yellow. The bruise ran from his eyes down to his jaw line and spread wide from his ear to his nose, the faintest sight of a hand print still visible. 

He cringed at the sight of himself and backed away till he fell to the floor and pressed his back to the cold bathtub. He pulled his knees up to his chest and held them tightly in his arms as he bowed his head and cried on the tile floor.

What was he going to do now?


	10. Checkmate

When he finally stumbled from his room it was only because his belly was rumbling and he was a little worried it would literally eat itself.

He could hear his mother whispering to his father in the kitchen and he dreaded having to enter the danger zone. 

“Its that boy Mick I know it is why else would he lock himself in his room?”

“His best friend did just pass away Mary I think your being dramatic.”

He heard his mom scoff, a clink of a spoon on the side of a cup meant she took a long drink of her tea, but she wasn't done.

“I think your blind. Dean’s bad for him i know he is i know his type. He’s dangerous and i don't want Sam with him.”

Sam closed his eyes before rounding the corner and he watched as his moms eyes widened in horror before she shot up and rushed over to him, her hand grabbing his chin as he tried to duck his head.

“Oh my God Sam what the hell happened?”

Sam winced as her shrill voice and shrugged his shoulders... It was now or never. To tell the truth or not.

“I fell...”

His moms eyes narrowed, she already knew he was lying “how?”

He looked at his dad who was inspecting the growing bruise “I was... I was running at soccer and a ball hit me in the face. It was an accident,” he looked down as tears blurred his eyes “he didn't mean to.”

Mary stepped back and looked him over like she was trying to look inside him and it made him squirm. His mom could always tell when he was lying, he could never get away with anything as a child.

But his dad just leaned over and gently rubbed his cheek “gotta be more careful huh?”

“Why were you in your room?”

“What?”

Mary crossed her arms “why did you lock yourself in your room?”

Sam cleared his throat and avoided her gaze “I just didn't feel like myself--”

“Bullshit.”

Sam’s eyes widened as he looked up at his mom. She looked pissed. Her blue eyes had gone cold and firm like they did when she got really mad, her cheeks were red which meant she was about to blow and her mouth was pinched.

“You know what I think? I think Dean did this to you. I think you pissed him off and he hauled off and hit you... Am I right Sam?”

Sam shook his head and scoffed “don’t act like you know anything about me and Dean you don't! You hated him from the beginning you would try and blame him!”

Mary tipped her head back “why him Sam?”

Sam frowned and looked down at his bare feet.

Why him?

It was a good question. Why not Adam? He was good looking enough, got good grades, never did anything bad, certainly never hit him. Why not a boy with perfect manners and a kind heart? Why Dean? Dean with his dangerous aura and cunning smirks and wicked winks? Maybe it was the challenge? Maybe it was because he made Sam question everything in his life, even himself. Maybe it was because he had never felt more alive then when he was with Dean. 

In the end Sam looked up at his mother with a quivering lip and tear filled eyes “because I love him... Isn't that enough?”

He watched as his moms shoulders fell, her face softening and her own eyes blurring at the sight of her son falling apart.

She wanted to hug him, to take him in her arms and tell him the truth. Tell him Dean was a monster and he would just end up getting hurt anyway, maybe even end up dead. Tell him she made a mistake when she was young and he shouldn't do the same.

But she didn't. She watched as she shook his head and let out a sob before running back up to his room Mick following in his footsteps and she was left alone.

 

Dean shows up at his house two nights later.  
It was well past midnight. It had been a long fitful day so when Sam finally crawled in bed he had hoped to fall right asleep.

Of course that didn't happen.

It was rolling on 1 in the morning and he was still tossing and turning when a loud thump hit his window making him shoot up in bed. He was reaching for his baseball bat prepared to bash someone in the head when Dean’s face appeared making him yelp.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Dean pushed his way inside and Sam looked him over.

He looked awful.

The cocky smirk was gone from view. His lips were chapped, his green eyes dull and his skin pale, the dark circles under his eyes heavy.

“You weren't answering.”

The voice made Sam shiver and he stepped back, out of arms length “I wonder why.”

“Sam I didn't mean to... I love you baby--”

“Shut up!” Sam cried his body now shaking “you don't you never did!”

Dean’s face crumbled “stop don't tell me i didn't i did i do now and i always fucking will. Its always been there Sam always been in my blood I’ve never done anything but love you!”

Sam paused “what do you mean? I’ve only known you a couple months how could you always love me?”

Dean paled and turned around, avoiding the question and it made Sam angry. 

“I said what do you mean!”

“Why don't you ask your beloved mother?”

Sam scoffed “I swear to God you two are just alike its almost like your--” he paused.

God how did he not see it before? It had been right there the whole time.

He looked up at Dean his eyes now crystal clear as they looked him over. He shook his head pathetically, a choked sob welling in his throat “no...no.”

Dean reached for him but as skin connected Sam slapped him away and jerked himself back, tripping over his rug “you look just like her...oh my God what kind of sick asshole are you? Why didn't you tell me?”

“Sammy listen to me it was always supposed to be like this you and me were soul-mates you know its true--”

Sam covered his ears with his hands “no your my brother Dean! You lied to me, you used me to what to get to her? Is that what this is about? God I-- I remember you. She took me away that's why i knew your name. She took me from you, she told me I had to forget you, that you didn't exist.”

Dean growled lowly and it made Sam jump “this is her fault Sam! God why wont you look at me!”

Sam shot his head up and glared at Dean “you know why i wont look at you? Cause every-time i do I feel this unknown danger in my chest it makes my throat scratchy and my cheeks hot. It makes my stomach hurt and it makes me clammy. You scare the hell out of me Dean... You hit me. You hit me i thought i knew who you were but I don't not anymore. You lied to me, you used me like i was a ploy in your game--”

“I didn't!” Dean stomped forward and took Sam’s hands “this was never about her, fuck her Sam! This was about finding you, yes i lied to you I didn't tell you the truth but I don't regret it because I love you and if this was the only way to show you so be it! You cant tell me you don't feel the same you do!”

A sob welled deep in Sam’s throat and erupted in broken cries he fell against Dean’s chest and dug his fingers in his shirt “why did you come back?”

Hands tightened around his waist so hard he knew it would bruise, chapped lips brushed his ear “cause i wont live without you.”

Something stirred in Sam’s stomach at the words he knew were true. As Dean backed him up and sat him back down on his bed, his calloused hands moving to cover him up and coming to lay next to him Sam knew the pawn was now in his court.


	11. The Truth

When Sam woke up the next morning it was like waking up from a fog, like breaking through the waters surface.

Suddenly he wasn't blind anymore. He could remember everything. He could remember how happy Dean made him when he was little, could remember counting Dean’s freckles, could remember the wrinkles on his dads face. He could remember the way Dean would laugh, deep even back then, how protective Dean had been.

He could remember his mother lying to him. When she took him in the middle of the night, snatched him out of the comfort of Dean’s arms, away from his dad’s rumbling voice. 

His dad might have been a rough man but he had never hurt Sam.

Deep down he knows his mom was just trying to protect him, she thought she was doing the right thing but she wasn't. She took him from his family, she lied to him, she made him think Dean was nothing but his imagination.. His big brother, hi,s protector, his soul-mate.

She thrust him into a new life, forced a new father into his head and played make believe with him.

But now as he rolled over in bed and watched Dean sleep, his eyelashes fluttering, his mouth parted as soft snores flow from his throat, he hated her. 

She took this from him, she took Dean from him. All his life he knew something was missing and when Dean showed up he had never felt more full. 

And when he came back she never said a word. He knew there had to be a reason she didn't like him. Why didn't she tell him? Why would she lie to him?

He lifted up slightly on his elbow, his other hand coming down to trail a finger down those soft lips. Dean stirs and his eyes crack open. They squint, the green still cloudy with sleep before settling.

“You feel better?”

Did he?

His mother lied to him for years, his brother showed up out of nowhere became his lover and then hit him.

Would he ever be ok?

His hand reached up for his now yellow cheek, the bruising molding together into the shape of a perfect hand print. It still stung when he touched it, the ache dull and throbbing under his hand.

He watched as Dean’s eyes focused on him, guilt was in his eyes but there was also something else...something like pride.

He threw the covers back and walked over to his window and looked out into the gloomy day. The rain was falling hard, thundering shaking the house and lightning striking past the glass.

It matched his heavy heart.

“What do I say to her?”

“Mom?”

Sam made a face at that. He couldn't imagine Dean calling her that, couldn't imagine growing up with him now. Would they have fallen in love? Would they have tip toed past the forbidden dotted line?

With Dean’s determination? Probably.

He turned around and let out a breath. Dean was propped up on his elbows, his pale skin illuminated by the lightning that flashed by his window, his eyes were lidded and still sleepy, and his hair was mussed.

Even if Sam did tell his brother to leave, tell him they couldn't do this he wouldn't stand a chance.

“Yes.”

“Tell her the truth. Listen Sammy dads coming down next week he wants to see you.”

Sam blinked rapidly as he stared at Dean with big eyes. His father had never hurt him but that didn't mean he wasn't scared of the man. John was big and burly his once warm brown eyes had turned harsh, at least when they looked at his mother. How would they look at him now?

“Does he... Does he know?”

“Yeah. He’s ok with it.”

Something stirred in his belly. What kind of parent was ok with their sons fucking?

He must have looked like he was fighting with something because Dean was suddenly in front of him, his hands coming to frame his face making Sam melt. Was it always this way? Was he ever able to fight his big brother?

 

When Dean left, crawling out his window and into the pouring rain, Sam was left fighting his inner turmoil.

He could hear his mom puttering about the kitchen and no doubt that meant his dad was at the table reading the paper. 

Or not his dad.

Sam shook his head and sighed before standing up and making his way downstairs. His mom was standing at the stove flipping pancakes, her back to him but his dad looked up with a smile “there he is!”

Sam’s face remained stoic as he stared at his moms back and watched as she shivered under his gaze “we need to talk.”

He listened to his mom sigh, that sigh where she knew no matter what she did it wouldn't work, and turned around wearing a look of shame on her face.

“About what?”

Sam scoffed “what kind of mother are you?”

Mick leaned forward and pointed his finger “now wait a minute--”

“You lied to me. You told me he wasn't real, you made me think he was all in my head. You took me from him, you took me from dad what kind of mother does that?”

Mick was quiet now, his brown eyes on Mary and she felt uneasy.

“I had to Sam...John he was dangerous he would have hurt you. And Dean well you see how he is Sam he’s crazy! He wanted you for himself, he was to possessive, he wanted to much from you and you were so young. I did what I thought was right. He would have ruined you. He hit you Sam he hit you he does not love you.”

Sam made a face “he already has and he does you wouldn't know of course. We might be somewhere different if you had told me but instead here I am screwing my brother. I’m hopelessly in love with my big brother and the weird thing is so is he. And I should feel sick about it but I don't. Because I think no matter what would have happened in my life we were meant to be. And you took that from me.”

Mary winced and moved forward, the smell of burning pancakes filling the kitchen “Sam I--”

She jumped as the smoke alarm started blaring and watched as Sam backed away, the smoke blazing in front of her like a fog and she watched as Sam disappeared.


	12. Not What I Thought

A week later John showed up.

He hadn't been back to his parents house, choosing instead to stay with Dean in his apartment. 

His mom had called him more times than he could count, begging him to come home, that she was sorry but he had to understand where she was coming from. She told him Dean was dangerous and it would only end bad for him just like it did for her.

And while he knew Dean was dangerous, he knew that Dean had a wild side almost like an animal he loved him brother or not. 

When his dad showed up he panicked.

It was late at night, just past midnight when someone knocked on the door stirring Sam from sleep. He had tucked in at 10 that night as he usually did on school nights and watched with bleary eyes as Dean walked shirtless to open the door.

When he did a sharp gasp left Sam’s open mouth.

There was no doubt the man behind the door was his father.

He looked older, the wrinkles by his eyes reminding him of the ones Dean had. He had a dark scruffy beard on his face and his eyes seemed darker than they once did. His black hair was littered with gray and he was wearing a warm smile on his face making his dimples pop.

Sam had always wondered where he got them from.

John stepped inside, his boots heavy on the hard wood floor, gave Dean a nod and moved to stand at the end of the bed.

Sam looked around and pulled on one of Dean’s shirts and stood up in front of his father his face red, he couldn't seem to find his breath.

“Sam.”

Sam shivered at the rough, gravely voice and gulped as he looked up at his father “dad.”

John smiled at that and with rough hands reached out and pulled Sam to him causing him to jump at the contact. 

Did John ever hug him before?

Sam thinks he would remember something like this.

John pulled back and clears his throat “sorry I know your confused I didn't mean to just throw this at you its just... Well son I’ve been waiting a long time for this. Your brother and I both have.”

Sam side eyed Dean as he stepped up next to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulders making him relax “I wish I could say I have to but I didn't remember any of this till the other day.”

John’s eye twitched “yes that would be because of your mother...that witch.”

Sam winced and looked down at the ground at the insult “I don't think I would call her a witch...”

John scoffed and gave him a sneer as he backed up “she took you from us, like a fucking thief in the night and left town. She wouldn't let me see you, hell she practically brain washed you. Made you forget your brother, me, everything you know and then she threw a new fucking life at you and made you think this was it. Well its not Sam I’m your father and that fucking Brit isn't.”

Sam closed his eyes and cringed at his dads harsh words. He hadn't been expecting a happy reunion but he sure wasn't expecting this.

Maybe his mom was right?

He looked up at Dean expecting him to chime in to his rescue but instead Dean was looking at the floor with hard eyes, completely ignoring Sam’s glance.

He scoffed inwardly and backed up from his father “you have no right to talk about her that way... You hit her that's why she left, she didn't want you to hurt me to.”

Johns eyes narrowed as he looked Sam over “God you look just like her... Are you a saint to?”

Sam’s lip curled “maybe I am. Is it so wrong to be a good person?”

John laughed and the sound shot straight through Sam and he shivered at the cruelness of it “a good person... Son your mother isn't a good person.”

“What is this? You know I was looking forward to meeting you again, maybe even becoming a family but she was right... I don't know you anymore and your not the same dad I once had.” 

He turned to Dean with a glare “and you a couple days ago you were dying to rescue me, you would do anything to defend me but suddenly dad is here and you lost the ability to talk? To stand up for yourself? Is this what I've been missing because if so I don't want it back.”

He shook his head with a soft laugh and pulled his shoes on as he walked to the door and sent his dad and brother another look “your not who I thought you would be.” and with that he slammed the door.

 

When he arrived at his house he paused.

Could he go in?

He left his home days ago to be with Dean, he thought this whole thing would be different instead it was a nightmare.

Would his mom let him come home?

He sighed and tipped his head back and was debating on leaving when the door opened and Mick stepped out.

“Sam?” he squinted in the dark and then let out a thankful sigh before pulling him in his arms “thank God.”

Sam closed his eyes tight at the warmth coming from... From his dad.

“We didn’t think you were coming home.”

“I wasn't going to... I thought I would be happy with Dean and I was I was happy but then John showed up and it wasn't what I thought it would be. He wasn’t what I thought he would.”

Mick nodded “you know sport things don't always go how we want them to. And while he might have not made a good impression and as much as I hate to admit it he is your real father. Now I will always be your dad nothing can change that but I’m not your father. As for Dean I don't know what to say about it. This man is your brother and he deceived you... Is that what you want?”

Sam could feel the tears in his eyes as a sob escaped his throat “I don't know i don't know anything anymore.”


	13. Changing Tides

Sam felt hollow.

He had never had this feeling before and it was tearing him apart. He felt like his insides were twisting, like his heart as melting and he couldn't stop it.

His mother had came up to his room the next morning and sat gently next to his bed and ran her fingers through his hair “honey?”

Sam had closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow and sobbed and rolled over and looked at her with eyes filled with heartbreak and despair “I can’t breath mama,” his voice was strangled and thick from crying and Mary felt her heart break.

“Oh sweetie I know it hurt's now but it’ll pass.”

Sam shook his head “no it wont, it never will I love him.”

Mary bit her lip and sighed “You can love a monster honey, it can even love you back but that doesn't change the fact that its a monster and it will never change.”

Sam made a face and shot up on his bed and pushed her away from him “he’s not a monster it was never him he just...he didn't stick up for me and John he wasn't what I thought he would be. He was cold and callous.”

“My darling your problem is you love him so much you would let him drag you to hell with him and you cant do that. Dean is to far gone, he’s just like John he is a monster Sam. He’s ruthless and cruel you have to know that.”

He had pushed her out of his room not long after that. 

Deep down he knew everything his mother said was true. Maybe Dean wasn't who he thought he was, maybe his big brother truly was gone and in place of him was something dark and cold.

 

It was going on a month and he still hadn't seen Dean.

Dean had tried of course, for the first few weeks.

Endless phone calls, late night visits where he would sit outside his window for hours on end, ambushes.

But Sam just couldn't do it.

He would like to say he was moving on with his life but that wasn't really true. How can you move on after that? After falling in love and finding out that your soul-mate was actually your brother all along. 

Maybe he would never be over it. 

He had nights were he cried, his stomach would cramp up in knots, his skin would grow clammy, and he would wake up screaming. On those nights, when he could hear the pounding of footsteps rushing up to his door he would hold his breath and pray it would be Dean that would bust through the door. But it never was.

He, Adam and Kevin had grown closer. He started attending practice again, after apologizing profusely to their coach and promising to work extra hard, and had even went back to the soup kitchen.

His mom would smile at him when he came home, the way she used to, like he knew he had made the right choice, like everything was ok again.

Mick pretended like nothing had ever happened. They didn't speak about Dean or John and carried on like they didn't exist.

Unfortunately Sam couldn't.

He dreamn't of Dean almost every-night. Of Dean hitting him, making love to him, protecting him, yelling at him and sometimes even killing him. When he had those dreams he figured his mom was right, maybe if he had stayed with Dean maybe it would have been the end of him.

“Sam?”

Sam looked up from the bench he was sitting on to see Adam leaning over him with a worried expression on his face, his eyes cloudy. “You ok?”

Sam snorted to himself and ran his fingers across the book in his lap “am I ok...no. No I’m not ok.”

Adam bit at his lip before sitting down next to him and tugged his jacket tighter around him. It had been getting colder lately, the leaves falling as autumn came upon them which meant no more soccer, no more distractions. 

“You wanna talk about it?”

Sam felt a choked sob well up in his throat and he barley kept it down as a loud laugh burst from his throat “I wouldn't even know where to begin Adam every things so fucked up.”

“Whats fucked up? Sam he didn't deserve you he--”

“Whats fucked up? Its fucking twisted Adam this whole ‘love thing. Everyone makes it sound so great, like its the best fucking thing to ever happen to you I mean are you kidding me? You fall in love, I mean literally fall in love like crashing to the ground, feeling your bones break kind of love but you don't notice. Your fucking shattered and you don't notice because there's this beautiful man whispering lies in your ear and kissing you so hard you cant breathe. And nothing else matters, nothing but him. But then he leaves and you feel it. All those broken bones, all those empty words. And suddenly your crying hysterically in your room at 4 in the morning because its the only time and the only place where your truly alone with no one watching you. The only place you think you can escape from him but even then you cant because you find some shirt, or you think you can smell him in your sheets. You can never get away not really. It doesn't stop... It’ll never stop.”

Sam wiped his cheeks roughly and let out a winded breath as the cold stung his cheeks “why me? Why couldn't he just leave me alone? I was doing fine without him, I didn't need him I didn't even know him! And then he just slides into my life like he never left, like I built this section for him you know? And I had it covered up all these years and he knew just how to unlock it and now he wont leave. He haunts me everyday and I cant get rid of him. Why did he come back?”

He turned to Adam for an answer, for anything but all he found was confusion. He straightened up in his seat and stood quickly “I’m...I’m sorry.” and with that he turned and rushed down to brick sidewalk and realized when he got in his car that Adam never called for him.


	14. What Goes Around

Coming home at midnight, drunk off his ass and seeing Dean on his front porch? Well that just isn't how he thought this night would go.

After his emotional babble bullshit he spewed to Adam, and after a couple days of avoiding each other, Adam finally came to him and told him he needed to get drunk. And he couldn't have agreed more.

Usually Sam didn't drink, he was a lightweight and he tended to say how he felt in those dizzy moments. But Dean wasn't around and he didn't care.

So he let Adam and Kevin take him downtown to a small bar and let them slide drink after drink his way and he chugged them all back happily. 

So when he stumbled out of Kevin's car at midnight with bubbles in his belly and sleep in his mind the last thing he had expected was to see Dean, his big brother sitting on his steps.

He had paused, the alcohol leaving his body and now instead of feeling light he felt sick. He turned around to jump back in Kevin's car only to realize he was already gone.

He sighed loudly and threw his hands up to the sky “of course, why not?”

He turned quickly on his heel throwing his balance off and making him stumble, falling into his mothers potted plant and knocking it over. The loud noise caused Dean to look up his hand reaching for his pocket but when he saw Sam he paused.

Sam frowned and leaned his head to the side. What the hell was in his pocket?

“Sammy?”

Sam huffed and tripped up the steps and jerkily reached for hi keys “what the hell do you want?”

Dean frowned and looked him over “are you drunk?”

“So what If I am? I’m allowed to drink thank you, your not the boss of me.”

He was being childish he knew that, but he thinks maybe he’s entitled. After all this past month his been nothing but miserable its only fair Dean is to.

He thinks he succeeds as Dean looks at him with a strange glint in his eye, his face wilting as he looks at him. “Sammy--”

Sam shakes his head and steps closer to his front door “Don’t call me that, you don't get to call me that,” he wants to stand up taller, maybe make Dean feel a little inferior for once but instead he stumbles and falls back, thankfully the door is there to catch him.

He scowls and knocks the rough-skinned hand that reaches for him away and tries to stand up straight “what... What are you doing here?”

Dean looks down at his boots and sucks on his lip “its been a month Sam... I thought you would have been over it by now. You have to understand I can’t just disobey him--”

Sam stops him before he can finish, already fed up with everything that just came from his mouth “that's such bullshit.”

Dean stares at him , taken aback with startled wide green eyes and Sam wants to hit him. He has no right to look lost for words, not after everything's his done.

“You have put me through hell ever since I met you. I knew there was something malicious about you when we first met and I ignored it. I ignored it when I found out you were my brother but then John shows up and suddenly you loose your balls and will to speak and I’m nothing more than a chew toy for him to use up. I don't care what you say about me, what he says about me I will not just let him talk to me like that. Ever since Jo died you’ve been--”

Suddenly Dean scoffs, spit flying from his plush lips and he looks at Sam with a dark set of eyes “Jo...please Sam she didn’t deserve to be around you, she was nothing, she caused nothing but problems. Your better off without her.”

Something dark swirls in Sam’s belly, something like dread. Somehow he knows this look in Dean’s eyes, remembers seeing it before his mom took him away, when Dean overheard her telling John he was abnormal.

“What did you do?”

Dean raises his brows and suddenly all the remorse he had showed was gone and replaced with something cold. 

“You want the truth?”

Sam no longer feels drunk he just feels lightheaded as he stares into Dean’s dark eyes and he feels like throwing up. “Oh my God...it was you wasn't it? You killed her?”

Dean says nothing but he doesn't need to Sam knows. He remembers that night, remembers seeing something red on Deans hand and at the time he thought it was just a scratch but now he knows better.

He can feel panic rush up inside him and he forgets how to breathe. He plants his hands flat on the wall behind him and lets out broken breaths, hot tears flowing from his red eyes he swears the world spins.

He feels a soft touch on his back and he snaps. He spins on his heels and shoves at Dean, barley gaining any momentum but Dean stumbles. 

“I thought I could trust you!”

He expects a flash of shame to pop up on Dean’s face, at least something in his eyes but he remains blank. Cold like stone and Sam wonders how he didn't see this before.

“It was necessary.”

Sam's jaw drops at the calm, husky tone that flows from Dean’s lips. “I hate you.”

The words flow like venom from Sam’s lips and he’s shocked that they escaped. He honestly hadn't meant to say them, wasn't sure if he meant them but it was enough to throw Dean off.

Dean gives him a shocked look and Sam revels in it. 

“I did this for you Sam, everything I do is for you.”

Sam closes his eyes and chokes down a cry as Dean turns to walk away and pauses as his mothers roses and looks at him over his shoulder “ Just so you know, I don't regret anything and I will be coming back.” he turns fully now and looks at Sam through narrowed eyes “I love you Sam, and I wont let you get away. No matter what the cost.”

Sam watches as Dean finally turns and walks down the street to his car, before getting in his pauses once more and looks right up at Sam with a feral like smile before getting in, AC/DC blasting from the speakers and squeals down the road.

When he’s gone Sam can finally breathe. He falls to the floor, his legs flying in front of him, tears streaming down his face and let out a loud wail that echoes in the night. He clutches his stomach as it knots and he swears his dying. 

 

His eyes burn as he tries to stare up at the sky and chokes on his own tears. He wants to ask God why this is happening, what did he ever do to deserve this but he feels like it would fall on deaf ears. So instead he clumsily stumbles to his feet and barley makes it to his bedroom before he cries himself to sleep.


	15. How Can I?

When he woke the next morning his head was pounding and his mind was hazy. He groaned loudly and rubbed his temples and tried soothing himself with the rain that was pattering on his window. 

Never would he drink again.

He moved to push himself out of bed when last nights events came rushing back. Dean had been here.

“Oh God” he moaned and fell back on his pillow with a grunt. So much for forgetting about Dean.

Could he ever?

His big brother made him a promise last night, he wasn't giving up, and he wasn't finished with Sam.

A part of Sam was happy about that. He was in love with Dean, hopelessly and tragically in love with him. He wanted Dean to get down on his knees and beg for him back, tell him he loves him, tell him he’s sorry and mean it.

But another part of him wants Dean to suffer for what his done. He killed his best friend, he hit him, he lied and manipulated him. How can you ever forgive someone for all that?

He threw the covers back and rolled himself out of bed reluctantly. Last night he heard his heart screeching like a subway train down a long empty tunnel before it crashed and burned. 

He ran his fingers through his tussled hair and sighed as he stared out his foggy window. What was he supposed to do?

He picked up his phone and flipped through mindless pictures he and Dean had took and smiled to himself.

How blissfully unaware he had been...he would give anything to go back.

He pushed himself up to pad to the bathroom, to pee, maybe to drown himself in the shower when he paused mid-step.

He planted his hands on the cold window and looked with wide eyes as Dean stood soaking wet before him.

His normally styled hair was flat from the rain that pelted off his leather jacket like a waterfall and he was staring at Sam with determined eyes.

He looked up. He could close the curtains. He could completely ignore him, forget he ever existed and move on with his life right now. 

Instead he swallowed harshly and pulled on some sweatpants and a heavy sweatshirt before slowly walking outside.

Thank God his parents were gone for the weekend.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he had to yell over the rain that swirled around them like a blizzard, thunder striking through the sky.

Dean tucked his hands in his pockets and looked at him with rain running down his pointed nose and Sam hated him in that moment.

“I’m here for you.”

Sam blinked the water from his eyes and stared at him with an open mouth “whats wrong with you? After everything you’ve done to me--”

“I did it because I love you Sam! Goddammit! What else do you want me to say?”

“Ok so fucking what!” Sam could feel himself shaking from anger as he looked at Dean with hate filled eyes “I love you and you love me--we’ve said those words a million times and if they meant anything to you we wouldn't be here. So what? What are you going to do about it? Because I cant do much else Dean!”

“Sam this whole thing is fucked up but--”

Sam scoffed and held his hands up “no whats fucked up is that the one person I trusted more than anyone or anything in this world turned out to be a fucking liar and a really good one at that.” Sam let out a shaky sigh as tears rolled down his face, mixing with the rain and he wasn't sure where they began and ended “so don't you dare tell me how I should feel or what I should do... Actually you don't get to tell me anything, not anymore.” 

With that Sam turned on his heels to walk away, to leave Dean behind and never look back. Sure he’ll never forget Dean, it would be impossible after all this, after the love they shared, he may never fall in love ever again. But he had to try.

But just as he was about to step inside his house a firm hand reached out and gripped his wrist and held him still. He turned with wide, fearful eyes as the grip on his wrist tightened “let me go.”

Dean’s eye twitched “no. I wont, I wont let you go Sam I cant. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. When mom was pregnant with you I knew you were a boy, I talked to you every night told you I loved you and I would always protect you. And then when she had you I was the first person to hold you and God Sammy you were like an angel.”

Sam’s lip quivered as his brother poured his heart out in front of him. He could feel Dean’s hand shaking and he realized how unkept his brother looked.

His cheeks were sharper than usual, his cheeks sunken in and his eyes seemed dull but still held that same fire they always did.

“You were ripped away from me Sam, pulled from my arms while you slept I remember waking up the next morning and when I saw you were gone I flipped. Dad was already in the kitchen and he was so mad. I wanted to kill her Sam I did because she took you from me. Everything I’ve done was to protect you. Your friends, they don't know you not the real you no one here does. Your own mom lied to you, made you forget me. And Jo don't you see Sam she was using you! She knew you would listen to her, she knew she had power over you I had to get rid of her! I did this for you Sammy. So we could be together.”

Sam pulled his arm back and winced as the rain came down harder now and he wondered if it was a sign. But of what he wasn't sure. 

He looked back towards his house and bit his lip unsure. He could run right now, call his mother, call the cops and tell them everything. Tell them Dean did hit him that day, that Dean took advantage of him, that he killed his best friend.

But then he turned back and looked into Dean’s eyes and for the first time he saw fear. Genuine fear. And he felt himself falter. 

This was his big brother. The man who sung him to sleep, who read him stories, who gave him the prize at the bottom of the cereal box. The man who loved him. 

And with every fiber in his being telling him to run he took a deep breath and let out a choked cry before flinging himself at Dean, his nose burying in his neck and his lips pressing wetly to his cheek as he cried.

Dean held him like he might die, like he would vanish his arms crushing Sam but he didn't care. His brother was warm, his chest rumbling against his as he let out relieved breaths and mumbled words of love and devotion. 

His brother was a killer and monster it was true but right now none of that mattered to him.


	16. Out of Here

When his parents got home later that night Sam was sitting on the couch waiting for them, Dean by his side.

His mom walked in first, her blue eyes instantly finding Dean in the dim light of the living room and narrowing coldly as he smirked at her. Mick looked confused as he looked back and forth between them “whats going on Sam?”

His mothers mouth thinned into a firm line and she crossed her arms, there was no need for her to ask. She already knew. 

“Your making a mistake Sam. Hasn't he hurt you enough? You know how this is gonna end.”

Sam frowned and looked down at his hands “Maybe I do. Maybe he will end up hurting me, I cant see the future and I agree there have been times in our relationship where I’ve been in nothing but pain. But I love him mom. And I cant change that.”

His mom scoffed as Dean wrapped his arm around his shoulder and tugged him in close to his side, the warmth helping to calm him down. 

“You know...mom. You've really hurt my feelings, I was hoping for a warm welcome, maybe even a hug.” Dean smirked darkly, his lips stretching across his face twisting up at the corners making her shiver.

“Your no son of mine,” she snarled as his grip tightened “what kind of kid rapes his own brother?”

Dean chuckles to himself and rolls his head to give her a slow look “its not rape if he wants it Mary.”

Mary starts forward with fury in her eyes but Mick reaches out quickly and grabs her and hauls her behind him and gives her a look before turning to his son and his brother. “Sammy-”

Dean snarls then, like a rabid animal as the nickname rolls out of his mouth “no one,” he drawls out with an underline of pure hatred laced within his voice “no one calls him that but me got it?”

Mick gulps then, for the first time truthfully frightened of this young man in front of him. He looks down at his son--why he isn't sure maybe for help, maybe for a sign but Sam wont look at him. 

Its almost like Sam is purposefully avoiding his gaze and he wonders what the hell happened in the two days they were gone. Before they had left Sam seemed to have been getting his life together, he hadn't mentioned Dean’s name in almost a month, he had been going out with his friends like before. And now his son was different. Dean was back in control.

“Son...I want you to listen to me. I love you and your mother loves you. You don't have to do this, I know you think you owe him something because he’s your brother but you don't you don't owe him a damn thing.”

Dean growls lowly in his throat but he chooses to ignore it, despite the tremor that runs through him. Right now the only thing that matters is his son.

Sam lets out a shaky breath and tips his head back and closes his eyes as Dean squeezes the back of his neck. Not hard, but firm to remind him of their situation. He wasn't sure at what point over the weekend Dean gained complete control over him. Maybe he always had? Maybe this is what he was waiting for, maybe he was more submissive to his big brother than he thought.

He could feel something dark swirl in his belly as he looked up at his family “I owe him everything I am. You don't get it, he’s my brother and more importantly my soul-mate. I tried being without him, I tried to let him go but I cant.”

“He’s not good for you Sam! He’s only using you! He’s just like his father how can you not see that?”

Dean stood then, his frame towering over Mary's as he stood tall and looked down at her with cold eyes. His fists clenched white and his lips curled in a snarl “If I were you I would keep your mouth shut mother if you wanna keep it that is.”

Sam jumped up and grabbed his arm and pressed his lips to Dean’s neck and mumbled something against the skin and all at once Dean melted. He cracked his neck and shifted his jaw before growling at his parents “were leaving now.”

Mary opened her mouth to protest but at Dean’s withering look of hate the words left her mouth in a huff and she was left standing there as her son, her baby was led out by a monster she didn't raise. 

Mick sighed “what do we do now?”

She didn't say anything as she watched Dean open the car door and help Sam inside before looking up and locking eyes with his mother, a cruel smile on his face before he hopped in and gave Sam a sloppy kiss.

“We call the cops.”

 

Sam fidgeted unsure on the couch as his brother answered the door, two cops wearing pinched faces on the other side.

He stood with a gasp and peeked over Dean’s tense shoulder “may I help you officers?”

The skinny one stepped forward, his eyes bright “we got a call from a Mary Davies she said her son, Sam” the man looked over Dean’s shoulder and locked eyes with a terrified Sam “was taken from her house.”

Dean snorted and reached his hand back and grabbed Sam’s arm and dragged him forward with a smile “does he look taken to you officer? He’s not here against his will or anything, he’s my brother.”

The man’s brows shot up “brother? She told us he was kidnapped by some psycho that had been...abusing him for a couple months now.”

Dean’s hand tightened on Sam’s own and he winced as Dean let out a laugh that might seem good natured to the officers but Sam could hear the warning in it “do I look like I would do something like that? Between us sir our mothers not all right in the head if you know what I mean.” 

Dean wiggled his brows at the two older men and they nodded knowingly and shook their heads “right...well I’m sorry to bother you sir.” he looked over at Sam again and scanned him quickly “so there's nothing going on here?”

Dean looked down at Sam with encouraging eyes and Sam stumbled forward as a hand nudged him “oh no... No sir nothing going on I was just visiting my big brother.”

The men nodded again, tipped their hats and jogged down to their car.

When the door shut Dean let out a loud roar and bent down picking up a chair and hurling it across the room, the wood splintering in pieces against the brick wall. Sam covered his ears and sat on the couch as Dean paced, sharp curses spilling from his mouth.

“Fucking bitch who the hell does she think she is? She has no idea who shes dealing with fucking cunt!”

Sam cringed and pressed the palms of his hands against his forehead as a head-ache surged. “Dean could you just--”

Oh but he wasn't done yet.

A dangerous growl hummed past his lips and he whirled around to look at Sam his green eyes almost black with fury “I swear to God Sam whats her fucking deal? Is she fucking stupid or something? Does she want me to kill her?”

“I don't know!” Sam shouted, standing up with his fists clenched by his side “I don't know what you want me to say Dean! This is all new to me I’ve never exactly ran away from home so I could just fuck my big brother before! What can I do to make you understand that I just don't know?”

Sam wiped his face angrily scratching his cheek in the process and let out a shaky breath “stop hounding me... You won, I’m here with you isn't that enough?”

“No.”

Sam blinked as Dean stepped forward, his boots clinking loudly making every step more frightening.

“No it isn't. Shes gotta pay Sam for what shes done to us and I wont let her get away with it, I cant. No matter what I have to do I promise you shes gonna pay if I have to rip her apart. And your not gonna stop me.”


	17. The Edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might be switching this up and instead of ending it with a happy ending I might make a sequel, maybe a verse and give it a happy ending in the next one just to continue it a little longer what do y'all think about that? Comment and let me know. I still haven't decided if this is what I'm gonna do I might just end it here in the next chapter and maybe make a sequel carrying on with what happens to Sam and Dean after the next chapter. So if you would like for me to draw out and delay the happy ending for a bit let me know. Or if you would like for me to end with a 'happy ending' and just go on with the story let me know!

Sam hadn’t planned on seeing John Winchester ever again.

But then again it seemed what Sam wanted didn't matter.

Sam had been staying with Dean a couple days when he showed back up, much different from the first time. He wasn't all hugs and welcome backs he was straight forward and to the point.

Sam had been brushing his teeth and with spit running down his chin he walked into the kitchen to ask Dean a question, that he quickly forgot, and found John sitting at the table with a coffee cup next to him while he and Dean whispered quietly.

Sam paused, his eyes widened and his toothbrush fell from his fingers. Dean turned and looked over his shoulder and chuckled in amusement, like John seeing him in his underwear with toothpaste running down his chin was an everyday occurrence. 

“Your drippin a little there Sammy, you need a bib?”

Sam blushed and wiped his arm across his mouth before glaring as harshly as he could “whats he doing here?”

John raised a brow at his voice and leaned in his chair “you mean me? Your father?”

Sam scoffed and picked his toothbrush up “your not my father, your just a sperm donor. I already have a father--”

Dean and John both growled at that making Sam jumped at the animalistic sound and back up as John moved toward him “I wouldn't call that pompus fairy your father... He didn't do all the work to get you here.”

“And neither did you,” Sam snarked back “where were you? To busy molding Dean into the perfect killer that's where. You didn't even notice your wife was unhappy-- you didn't notice anything unless it was Dean.”

“I thought you said he was mature Dean still seems like he should be in diapers to me.”

Sam snarled and moved to his full height “you know nothing about me and you never will. I want nothing to do with you.”

John smirked at that “well what you want doesn't matter sport your brother and I have a job to do.”

Sam frowned and looked over at Dean who was looking back with hollow eyes “whats he talking about?”

Dean looked down and sucked his cheeks in “I told you Sammy you weren't gonna stop me.”

 

After Dean basically admitted he and John had a plan to kill his mother he stomped out of the apartment... Then ran back in to change clothes and then stomped back out.

He didn't know where he was going, he couldn't go home, wouldn't go home and he couldn't go back to Deans at least not right now.

He shivered as the fall air swirled around him and stopped. This time last year his biggest worry was whether or not he would pass his drivers test. And now his big brother was gonna try to kill their mom.

Life had been much simpler before Dean and for a second time he found himself wishing he could go back. Back to before. Maybe when Dean showed up to “save him” that day he should have said thank you and left it there.

When he saw him in the club again he should have ignored him, should have said hey how are you and moved on. But of course he didn't because Dean was unlike any guy he had ever met and the danger called to him.

So now his best friend was dead, his mother was possibly going to die, he had been beaten up and lied to, and his father was a giant asshole. 

Sam snorted to himself at the irony that was his life. He didn't ask for any of this and aside from being gay he wasn't sure what he had ever done wrong in his life. He believed in God he prayed almost every night. He went to church on Christmas and whenever his father had the urge and he never talked while the he preacher did. He got good grades, great grades, and was more than likely gonna get a full ride to whatever college he wanted. He helped the homeless, he was nice to everyone.

What the hell had he done?

Blind to the cold now he began to wonder if he should warn his mother?

A part of him wanted to protect his caregiver no matter what she had done she was his mother and she did her best. But another part said screw her she asked for it. He wondered how much like his brother he was. Was there a darker part to him? Had he just suppressed it all these years?

Wrapped up in his own mind he failed to notice a sleek black car slowing next to him. A loud horn sounded through the air making Sam jump and shriek as he turned to look next to him with wide eyes.

His brother was smirking as he leaned over to look out the window “come on Francis its cold out here.”

Sam huffed and kept walking, ignoring Deans exaggerated sigh “come on Samantha are you kidding me?”

Sam stomped his foot and bent down to flare at Dean “shut your mouth you asshole--”

“Whats got your panties in a wad Sammy?”

“You, you do! You dick-wad! Once again you didn't defend me. I am so sick of watching you be a good little boy for daddy. What power does that man have over you Dean? He’s nothing but a dick!”

Deans playful smile dropped and was replaced with a sinister one “the only good boy I see Sammy is you so make daddy happy and get in the fucking car before I whip your ass to pieces.”

A dark blush spread over Sam's face and he looked around quickly hoping no one heard before sliding into the car to avoid further embarrassment.

A rough hand reached out and gripped his thigh and pulled him closer so plush lips could whisper in his ear “when we get home I'm gonna tear you apart baby.”

 

And he did.

When they got home, thankfully John was no where to be found so Dean shoved Sam to the bedroom and ordered him to strip which he did so, with a bright red face.

Dean sat down and pulled Sam across his lap and without warning a sharp slap stung his bottom and he jerked with the pain and yelped.

They had never done this before. Their sex life had been vanilla, with a sprinkle of kinky but this was something totally different.

And as Dean rounded on a 15th slap tears streaming down Sam’s face, he realized he was painfully hard. And that just made him cry more.

Dean pulled him up to sit in his lap and stroked his hair with soothing words that made him melt only to be thrown back on the bed just as he was getting settled. He watched as Dean stripped his own clothes off and marveled once again at his brothers sculpted body.

He watched as Dean climbed almost like an animal to slide across him and he shivered in anticipation and arched up in calloused hands. “Dean.”

Dean smirked and bent down to bite his way down Sam’s neck and pushed his thighs open to slid between them. He sighed blissfully as plush lips moved to his own and he allowed himself to drown.

But then something pushed against him and a sharp plain filled his body making him jerk his mouth from Dean’s and let out a startled cry his eyes widening in fear. But Dean just pressed him down to the bed and wrapped his arms around him so he couldn't move and he smirked “I told you I was gonna tear you apart.”

Sam cried out as Dean thrusted back in and he tipped his head back at the mixture of pain and pleasure that wracked through his body in waves. He could still feel the tears stinging his eyes, could feel Dean’s slick tongue licking at the salty tears.

He wasn't sure he had ever felt anything like this.

So he knew he wasn't gonna last.

He dug his nails in Dean’s back and scratched down the freckled skin savoring the way Dean growled at the feeling. He opened his hazed eyes and gulped at the lust that swirled within Dean’s.

“De...Dean please.”

Dean panted harshly and ducked his head to suck at his bottom lip and he moaned loudly his hand coming up to clutch the headboard and he was sure it cracked under his grip.

All at once white hot pleasure flashed across his eyes and he arched up into Dean’s touch and let out a loud cry as he came between their bellies and Dean followed short with a loud cry of Sam’s name, his cum gushing from Sam's hole like a river.

Dean rolled over to lay on his back, his chest moving fast with exertion before he turned his head and gave a slow smile “how was that?”

Sam bit his lip and gave him a long stare “amazing...I love you , you know.”

A genuine smile graced Dean’s lips “I love you to Sammy...but I’m sorry I'm still gonna do it.”

Sam gulped and looked up at the ceiling and prayed for guidance. Could he do this? Could he let Dean kill their mom?

Like it had always been there the answer came to him clear and bright. He rolled over on his side and pushed his nose in Deans neck and trailed his hand down his chest and squeezed his eyes closed “I know...I wont stop you. On one condition.”

Dean looked down “what's that?”

“No more John. He’s out of the picture.”

“Sam I need his help to get--”

“No,” Sam said, firm “I don't care I don't want anything to with him, he’s gonna ruin our lives. If you need help with this I’ll do it shes out mother I’ll help you but then that's it. Were moving on with our lives.”

“You’ll help me kill her?”

The words hit him like a dull drum “yes...I’ll help you.”


	18. Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I am working on the sequel as we speak and may or may not turn it into a verse. I really hope everyone has enjoyed this story as I have writing it make sure and pay attention for the sequel!

It takes them two days to come up with a plan and even then Sam isn’t really sure what it is. All he knows is their going to kill their mother.

He sits on the couch the night before and watches as Dean pulls out a dark bag and begins to stuff supplies inside. Everything from rope, gloves, boots, lighters, matches, duck tape, a gun and a knife.

A knife that still holds a tint of red to it and he wonders if that's what he used to kill Jo.

With the gleam in Dean’s eyes he would be surprised.

He can feel the nerves set in and he isn't sure he can do this. He feels something like butterflies in his belly right when their about to leave and he rushes to the bathroom and throws up.

His throat aches and his eyes are burning as he leans over the toilet and retches something horrifying into the porcelain and he can feel Dean in the doorway.

When Sam is finished he falls back against the bathtub and cries. Dean flushes the toilet and tosses him a rag to wipe his face with but says nothing.

He knows he cant get out of this.

So he follows Dean to the car and rides in silence next to his brother and something shoots in his mind. 

He has a feeling that tonight will not go the way Dean has planned and he isn't sure yet if that will be his fault or not.

When they get to his house its dark and he knows his parents are asleep. Its late, there are dogs barking and crickets chirping and he wants to leave. He wants to go home with Dean, curl up in bed and pretend this never happened.

Maybe then he wouldn't have to do this. 

But Dean gets out and pulls him out to and Sam gets the hide-a-key from under a rock and they go inside.

Everything is the same,but he didn't expect any different.

He can hear his dads soft snores from upstairs and they follow the sound.

He watches from the doorway as Dean stands over his mom and looks at her with eyes full of hate and distrust.

He understands he does. Their mother abandoned him and took Sam with her, promptly forgetting Dean ever existed. So he gets it. Dean felt lost, he had no mother just John and he can only imagine how that went.

But the answer is in front of him.

Dean backs away and walks to the kitchen and turns the gas on before locking all the windows and stuffing a rag in the stove. He lights up a match and wiggles his brows at Sam as if this is all a big game and flings it down on the grill and the flames burst up like from a volcano and Sam can feel the heat stinging his face.

Sam grabs his hand to go, their finished but Dean pauses and jerks him back.

He can hear footsteps upstairs and he tries pulling harder but Dean gives him a look and gently shoves him away and moves behind the door to wait.

Mick comes down first, his hand over his mouth as he coughs and he reaches back for Mary when Dean comes out from the dark, a bat in hand and whacks Mick on the head and he falls to the floor.

Mary screams as Dean punches her and climbs on top of her and Sam realizes now the fire would not be the cause of death, just the play off.

He watches his mom struggle under his brother and she looks up, her face bloody and bruised and spots Sam. She gives me a pleading look and his inner turmoil rises. He wants to turn his had away and forget all this.

Suddenly this is all to real. He doesn't want this, he cant let this happen. God he wishes he could he wishes he could look away and pretend he isn't seeing this but he cant he loves his parents. 

He loves Dean to. This is his big brother and he would follow him anywhere. But he wasn't sure he wanted to follow him to hell.

So impulsively Sam looks around in panic and his eyes land on the poker next to the fire place. He picks it up quietly and walks to stand behind Dean who holds his hand back “pass me the rope baby.”

Sam can feel tears fill his eyes and a sob well in his throat as he raises the poker in the air and when Dean turns for an answer he brings it down and swings across Dean’s face and knocks him out cold.

Sam drops it with a broken cry and jumps at the metal clinks against the ground. Dean is laying on his side, blood coming from his ear and when he tries to fall to his knees next to his brother Mary picks him up.

She wraps her arms around him and hums. She turns her back momentarily to check on Mick and Sam waits for Dean to get up.

But he doesn't.

So he turns his back and watches as Mick gets up and rubs his head and they stare at Sam like his this new person.

And maybe he is.

But nonetheless his parents grab his arm and lead him outside but just as the door opens and his parents are out a hard hand reaches out and grabs him and pulls him back into the fire.

The door shuts and locks and he can hear his parents screaming and banging on it as he’s thrown to the floor, his head bouncing hard making his vision blur.

A hard body lands on him and once his world stops spinning he sees Dean on top of him eyes full of righteous anger and dried blood down his face. His hands come to curl around Sam's throat and for the first time he’s scared of his brother.

Sam brings his own hands up to pull at Dean’s wrists but its no use “De--Dean.” he chokes out and he can feel his windpipes closing.

Dean snarls down at him “who do you think you are Sammy? Whose side are you on little brother? You think you can just betray me like that and walk away?”

Sam's eyes water and start to roll back and he thinks this is the end.

His mother was right Dean would be his undoing.

His hands fall limply to his sides as the pressure on his neck increases he cant talk anymore but he tries mouthing the words. Begs for Dean to let him go, but he cant hear him.

Deans teeth clench and bare and he looks like a wild animal, feral and rabid and he wonders how he didn't see it before.

Tears rush down his cheeks as his vision swirls and he wonders if Jo is waiting for him in Heaven and just when he thinks he’s gonna drift off the hands on his neck vanish allowing him to gulp in air greedily. He rolls on his side and coughs so hard he thinks he might vomit again.

Mick is standing over Dean with the same bat he was hit with as Sam claws at the floor trying to regain his breath.

“You think you can come in here and hurt my son?”

Dean laughs wildly on the floor and reaches up for the bat and jerks it down making Mick crash to the ground “you think I give a fuck what you say?”

Dean punches Mick in the face and watches as he falls in the couch behind them and he turns his gaze back on Sam who is trying desperately to crawl away.

He shoots his hand out and grabs Sam's ankle and drags him back. Sam tries to dig his nails in the ground to hold onto something, anything as Dean flips him over and climbs back on him with a wicked grin.

“Oh come on Sammy I wont hurt you... Much.” Dean laughs at his joke and leans down to lick at Sam’s cheeks “be my good little boy Sammy, make daddy happy. Don't you wanna make me happy? We had a plan Sam.”

Sam's lip quivers and he narrows his eyes “your right we did,” he brings his knee up and nails Dean in the balls making him groan and fall to the side and Sam jumps up “Don't make me hurt you Dean.”

Dean looks up and scoffs “you hurt me? Its the other way around Sammy when I'm threw with you, your ass is gonna be so fucking raw you wont be able to sit for a month. And then after that I’ll tie you up and leave you for days.”

Sam frowns and picks up the bat and holds it close “I love you Dean I always will, truly so please go.”

Dean wipes his split lip and smirks”I Don't think so baby its you and me now and I’m not going anywhere,not without you.”

Sam's hands tremble as Dean nears and he knows he’s giving empty threats he cant hurt Dean.

And he knows it to. He grins and reaches his hands out but just as he nears a sharp cry leaves him and twists unnaturely and Sam sees the knife sticking out from his back.

He watches in horror as Dean falls on his stomach, the blood pouring from his back as he tries to reach for it.

He looks up at Sam with wide, helpless eyes “Sammy please Don't leave me here Sam I'm beggin you baby.”

Sam falters.

He can hear his mom calling his name as she leads Mick out of the house. The fire is growing worse, swirling around them now and the smoke is thick and heavy in his face.

He reaches down for Dean but hands wrap around his waist and pull him out, ignoring him as he screams for Dean whose still reaching for him even as the door slams shut.

The only thing Sam can hear in the dead of night is the loud sound of the ambulance and his screams echoing in the night.

When the fire dies down and he and his family is sitting in the back of the ambulance the firefighters walk up to them and Sam jumps down “did you find him?”

The chief frowns “son there was no one else in there.”

Sam blinks and shakes his head “no he...he was in there I know he was.”

The man shrugs and slings his ax over his shoulder “I’m sorry son but there was no evidence of anyone else in that house.”

As the man walks off Sam stands frozen. People move around him in slow motion, the cold now numbing him as he stares at his burnt house and he waits.

But no one comes out.

He turns his head and looks all around the neighborhood for any signs of his brother and he thinks he catches a glimpse of a firefighter limping into the distance, his mask in hand and his hair strangely like Deans but well...that's just his imagination drifting.


End file.
